The risk of not making someone angry

So last week a woman died in a house fire.  They stated on the news that she was known to have dementia.  The fire smoldered for hours before it was discovered and the fire department called.  She had been dead for some time by the time the fire was discovered.  In my experience with families, I have to wonder if there had been a discussion about needing some kind of assistance, a sitter, family staying with her, going somewhere else, anything?  It is just a news story and the characters are not known to me personally.  But the situation is one I see over and over and over again.  As the memory gets worse, the person is not making good decisions.  Yet no-one wants to rock the boat and make mama mad by suggesting help.  So instead, she continues on in an unsafe situation.  In many situations, there are not dramatic outcomes such as this.  But I have to wonder and I'm not trying to be a smart alec;  Is it preferable that mama was able to stay in her house on her own, even though she died in a tragic fire, rather than making her angry?

I know it's easy to look in from the outside and make judgments or second guess others decisions.  But why, when we know someone is not making good decisions and we don't let them drive, we manage their finances for them, etc, do we go along with their decision about care?  So the question becomes, which would you rather deal with, making a decision for safety even if it makes someone mad, or knowing something that happened could have been prevented?  It's not an easy choice, but it is real.

Professional versus personal

It is so much easier to deal with individuals professionally rather than personally.  I got called back to work last night with a resident who got in the car and was not going to get out, wanting to "go home".  It doesn't matter that the family are medical professionals.  I hope I was able to convey to the family that's normal and okay.  No matter how much training or experience, when it is your family, the family role takes priority.  I've watched it with my boss, I've seen it with family members of my residents, I know I will be in the same situation in the future.  It is so much easier to come into a situation fresh, having had a full night's sleep, not knowing the person that used to be-only what you see before you at this minute, knowing you will be able to hand off to another staff member that is also fresh and rested and can return to your own home when it is over.

I was also amazed by looking at my past and seeing how everything has come together to make this possible.  I prayed before getting to work, asking for the right words to say.  And when I left last night after calming things down, I realized how right Joyce Meyer is when she says it is so good when you know you are in the middle of God's will for your life.  Oh how tough were those years working with juvenile delinquents and how I felt that was "paying my dues".  But without that training I wouldn't have the skills I now have that made last night's success possible.  Thank you God for knowing what you are doing.  Help me to fulfill your will for my life.