Seeing the Spark

This week my activity staff member has been out more than she has been to work.  That means, I get to fill in and facilitate the scheduled activities.  The activity program is more important to a resident's quality of life than the administrative tasks I can put off to another day.  The other day, I decided I was going to try a new game, the generic version of Jenga.  Most of the current residents have some mild dementia and so we need to keep the games pretty simple.  Yet they have pretty good manual dexterity, so it seemed like a good thing to try.  It was a success.  Now, they want to play it in the afternoons during some of the unstructured time.

But the first day we tried it, it so touched my heart to see how one of the resident's responded to the game.  This resident has been with us several years and came to us because of memory problems.  The disease has progressed and I see a time in the near future when she will have to move on to a higher level of care.  On this day, gathered with a group of other residents, I could see the spark of who she once was.  When people moved to assisted living because of memory problems, I don't usually get to see who they once were.  One of the hallmark symptoms of the disease is subtle personality changes.  That is one of the things I have seen in my own mother.  It's difficult to put your finger on, but she does not have the depth of personality she once had.  I now see why the disease is so devastating for families to deal with, it robs you of your loved one for such a long period of time.

But the other day, as the group was pulling out little blocks of wood, trying to keep the tower from falling, I could see the spark in this resident's eyes.  It reminded me of some pictures she has in her room where she is holding one of her grandchildren.  She wasn't able to take a piece that would keep the tower from falling.  Or maybe she did know the piece she was grabbing would make the tower fall.  The twinkle in her eyes as she was pulling the piece, with the other residents telling her that would make the tower fall, what a fun-loving vibrant person she must have been before the disease.  She laughed and laughed when the pieces fell, having such joy in that moment.

There is an excellent book out, "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey, that gives lots of ideas about how to have these "spark" moments.  As I looked back on that day and as I look back on the whole week, that one hour of this resident having her "spark" back, makes the whole week worthwhile.  I pray I am able to hold on to such moments with my mother as her disease progresses.