Smattering of topics

We just got back after a flying trip back to see family and another short vacation.  Mom has been on Aricept now for about a month and I can tell a subtle difference.  Even she says she can tell a difference, although she believes she is recovering from the stroke.  She still forgets things about 5 minutes after they happen, but it is a subtle personality change that I could see.  I don't know how to explain it other than her personality doesn't seem so shallow now.  That could be because the last time we saw them, in November, her obsession with her cats was almost constant.  Now she was able to carry on a conversation for quite some time without talking about or looking for the cats.  She still has periods where she gets focused on where the cats are and asks Dad repeatedly to go look for them, even though they were located within the last 10 minutes.  He gets frustrated and ends up by yelling.  I know he ends up feeling like the husbands that attend my Caregiver Support group, he gets frustrated, explodes, then feels guilty.  I think I'm going to create a spreadsheet for them where every hour he can write down where he last saw the cats.  Then maybe if she sees it in writing, it will calm her until the next hour.

The exercises that she is supposed to be doing following the stroke are an issue as well.  She thinks she is doing them.  He reported that the week before she did not do them for 4 days out of the 7.  I've noticed one of the issues she has is that she will talk and talk about doing something but just can't seem to get the impetus to actually do it.  For instance, I gave her oil paints for Christmas.  She says she has been too busy to use them.  I guess she is busy looking for the cats most likely.  I have a new resident that is going to move in that is in the same point.  He has great daughters who want to support him but not take over.  I was telling one of the daughters the other day that they are going to have to give him a nudge because he just can't do the planning and follow through required on his own.

Speaking of families, this week has been tough because I have a resident whose dementia seems to be progressing after doing really well for several years.  I look at one of her children in particular and I can see the pain of watching his mother become someone he doesn't even know and his losing the mother he did know.  I actually said out loud to myself the other day, "maybe Mom will have a big stroke and it will be all over before it progresses to that point".  That is very unlike me.  I have prayed for years for God to give my parents health and long life.  I don't feel ready to be the foundation generation yet.  But maybe losing her quickly would be easier on us all that losing her slowly.

So after a short break, I'm back, asking God to help me help residents and their families and to give me the wisdom to know what to do with my own family and the strength to do it.