Thank you to families

Who am I kidding when I think God has a plan for me to help families deal with dementia.  I learn much more from the families than I think I give to them.  After returning from vacation, I was reminded of 2 daughters of residents that taught me so much about being a long distance caregiver.  Terri was one of the first daughters that I got to know when I started at the assisted living.  She lives in Nevada, on the other side of the country.  But that did not stop her from doing lots of research and finding local resources to help her dad maintain as much functioning as possible.  She sent me a copy of the book "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey.   What an indispensable resource.  It is so easy during a loved one's decline as the illness progresses to think about all the losses.  This book reminds us to celebrate the skills and abilities that remain.

The daughter that I have been closest to and learned so much from was Sharon.  Her mother used to refer to her as her handicapped daughter.  Sharon might have been impaired mobility wise, but she is anything but handicapped.  She lived on the east coast, again thousands of miles away from her mother.  But she too researched and was so creative in coming up with ways to stay in touch with her mother and to encourage the skills that remain.  I have found myself using the same strategies Sharon used with her mother.  Well, probably because my mother reminds me so much of her mother.  From the artistic talents to the obsession with her pet cat.  So I bought my mom the abstract coloring books.  Actually, I got one for myself as well.  Since I am likely 3rd generation, I'd like to do what I can to keep what I've got.  This week I decided I was going to buy some pretty note cards and send a card once a week.  I remember the conversation I had with Sharon about how the note card is a tangible reminder of communication.  Although I call my parents every weekend, the phone conversation falls in the short term memory and so is more likely to be forgotten.

I sure hope I am helpful to families.  But I know the families have taught me so much.  I'm thankful to be able to use their lessons for my own family as well as the residents in my care.