I have been amazed this week at the examples of what love really means. I've had the opportunity to talk with several husbands that are caring for their wives with dementia. I guess it is a cultural thing, but it doesn't seem unusual for the wife to be caring for the husband. After all, women are natural care-givers. But I have been amazed at what these husbands are doing and have done for their wives.
My first experience of what can happen when someone is diagnosed with a chronic, progressive illness happened at my first professional job in the nursing home. There was a lady there who was in her 50's and had been diagnosed with MS. She used an electric wheel chair and got around the nursing home, although she needed assistance with everything. Her mind was still very much intact. Her husband had left her when her illness began to progress and she needed more help. The same thing happened with my cousin who has MS. Her husband left her as she became weaker. So I guess I had come to expect that although women stay around to care for their spouses, men do not. I love to be proven wrong. I met a really wonderful gentleman who is caring for his wife who has early onset dementia. Not only is he not contemplating giving up, but he sought out the Caregiver Support Group because he wants to do the best job he can.
I don't know why I am surprised, I know my own father would not skip out. But then like most daddy's girls, I think my father is one in a million. It seems in our culture men are judged by how strong they are. So here is a toast to the men who are strong enough to stick with it, to take up roles they never had before and work outside the home and take care of the house, who pray for and practice patience with their spouse's illness, who should be recognized as heroes. You are heroes in my book and I know in your family's eyes as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment