I got a call this week from another daughter. She was calling to find out about the Caregiver Support Group for her dad. She lives out of town and wants to help her dad. If only he would let her. In this particular case, the wife has early onset dementia. I actually remembered talking with him several years ago about assisted living when the wife was first having problems. They were early in the process and my boss had recommended they get a thorough medical exam. It's odd how initially Alzheimer's was linked with relatively young people having memory loss since it was thought that as people age, every one would develop memory loss. Now when someone, even as experienced as my boss, sees someone young with symptoms, they assume it must be something else.
What a disservice our culture does to male caregivers. The expectation that they be strong, handle everything by themselves it so potentially damaging to them. Even as hard as it was for the 2 wives in the support group to come to their first meeting, they knew they needed help and had the support of their friends and family to come get help. Now here is a man who needs the support, but trying hard to be strong and not get the support and help that would be so beneficial. And for us daughters, how heart wrenching to want to help, to try to help and to be so powerless to do anything but get information and pass along.
I can't change society or the expectations built up over hundreds and thousands of years. But what a good insight to bring to my attention. How do I make it easier for men to accept help and to come to the meetings? And maybe in the process I discover something to help my own dad. Thank you Pam for your call- a call to action for me.
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