It's the Little Things You Miss

Nancy Reagan said it best when she coined the phrase "the Long Goodbye".  We've begun to realize the little things that are gone.  My brother has been single for 50 years and has now met someone he really cares about.  Both my parents prayed for him to find someone to share his life with and to bring him happiness.  He made the comment a few weeks ago that if he introduces his lady friend to my parents, she will never get to know the real Mom.  The person of grand debates and witty come backs is gone.  And there isn't a way to get her back.  What a loss to not be able to show the person you love, the person who helped make you who you are today.

I am feeling that loss this week too.  I've had a lot of stress with a traumatic relationship of my youngest son's.  My heart breaks for him.  Wanting to be a good mom, I want to be strong for him, to keep myself together so he can have that strong support.  I really want to talk to my mommy and get that support for myself.  But that is no longer an option for me as well.  She is able to grasp the big picture.  She asks me about 5 times during our weekly phone conversations how he is doing and how angry she is with his now ex-wife.  But I know a true conversation with support and understanding is just not possible.  I miss that and I grieve the loss of that possibility.

Some Bible teachers talk about how God gives us challenges and trials to bring us closer to Him.  I am thankful I am a believer.  I really don't know how people who don't have faith can cope.  I think back to several families from the assisted living and my nursing home days.  How they talked about how they got to the place they were caring for and doing the right thing for a person who had become a stranger.  The strength to do that just boggles my mind.  At the time, I nodded my head, understanding in the logic part of my brain.  But to feel what they must have felt brings me a whole new admiration for the tremendous people God has placed in my path.  Thank God for them.  Thank God for His strength when I have none.