What is Success?

It has been a rough couple of weeks for the assisted living as far as census goes.  I have had 1 empty bed since the first of the year.  Last month I had a lady fall and break a hip and she did not recover well enough in rehab to return to assisted living.  One lady has a daughter who is getting a divorce and decided to move back to town and have her mother come live with her.  Then in the last 2 weeks I have 2 residents die very suddenly.  And finally, one other resident's dementia is progressing to where he needs to go to the nursing home.

Even though the owner assures me this is part of the long term care industry, it makes me really nervous.  I know that we have to make money to keep the building open.  On the one hand, I am trying to trust that God has a plan and He knows what He is doing.  When I look back over the admissions I've had over the past couple years, they seem to come out of the blue.  I feel like this is what God has called me to do and so far He has always made sure there were residents for me to care for.  But trust is difficult when you are not in control and it doesn't look like there are any takers waiting on the waiting list.  I guess that is why they call it faith.

So I was walking my dog one morning.  I frequently use that time to pray, but I admit sometimes my mind wanders.  I was thinking back over the previous day.  I had another resident who was thinking she needed to go to the nursing home, but she really wanted to stay in assisted living.  I spent a lot of time with her that day, reassuring her that we could provide for her needs.  While I was in there talking to her, she complained about pain in her knees.  She has Icy Hot she puts on her arthritic knees to help the pain.  So since I was right there, I offered to put it on her knees.  While rubbing that on her knees, I saw that her legs and arms were really dry.  So after the Icy Hot, I got her lotion and rubbed lotion all over her legs and arms.  As I did it, I was thinking about how our elders have so infrequent touch of another human being and what a gift it was for me to be able to do this one small thing. As I rubbed her legs, I remembered back to some of the residents I took care of when I was working my way through college as a CNA.  When I left work that day, I had felt the greatest sense of accomplishment, not in completing paperwork, but in those brief 10 minutes of really connecting with another human being.  So as I was walking the dog, I had like a thunder bolt of a thought cross my mind.  I was praying of course for God to send residents so I won't lose my job.  But then the thought hits me, what the world sees as success is not necessarily success in God's eyes.  Real, eternal success is the difference I was able to make in that one woman's life with ten minutes of my time.

Oh,that I could keep that perspective always.  The doubts and the worries sneak in and get me off track.  But regardless of how many "beds" are full, I hope I can keep my focus on what really counts.  Not only for the residents and families I am responsible for at my job, but for eternity and ultimately in God's eyes.