Yoga Mantra- Letting Go of Expectations

So I had this great plan I passed on to my brothers.  Instead of listening over and over again to the 3 main themes; "I go to sit and stretch twice a week,  the doctor told me not to drive but I still have my license, and I was good at and enjoyed my job, I had suggested we try to refocus Mom and get her to tell us stories of her younger days and childhood that we could preserve for the future.  You know, make that time more productive.  So last weekend, I had the questions suggested by a Family History book laid out in front of me while we talked.  I tried several times to ask questions, but found that Mom was not to be side tracked to topics that I thought were a more productive use of our time.

Not to be dissuaded because of course I need to find something constructive out of this experience, I am faced with the truth that these topics are what are important to Mom right now.  No matter how unimportant I find them and think we need to make better use of the time, to her this must be an important use of her time.  I've said before how so many things in my life interconnect.  I have discovered how much I love yoga.  Of course physically it gives me a good work out, but more importantly, I've discovered how the philosophy is great for de-stressing.  One of our yoga teachers repeats several times in class; letting go of competition, letting go of expectation, living in the moment.  In this situation, I'm realizing I have to let go of expectation.  What seems to be a good use of time and significant to me, is not for Mom.  And in my quest to always be productive, I may have to resort to doing something mindless at the same time as I'm listening, like scan old pictures.  For the 1 hour I'm talking to Mom every week, I have to let go of that time and let it be about what she needs.  For the goal driven, productivity junky that I am, this will be a major change.  But then maybe that is why I get so stressed out anyway.  I can't change the part of me that wants to learn something from every situation, at least not yet.

So this week and as long as we can, the conversation will be about what you want Mom, regardless of whether I can make it productive or not.  Letting go of expectation.....